#does Izzy have religious trauma

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

I think Izzy has a deep appreciation for the finer things. It just looks different than the way Stede or even Ed approach them.

It's in the way he gently puts down the miniature ship from Stede's room, where he could've very easily break it. It's in the way he keeps his hair pushed back, his clothing always neat and elegant.

It's obviously just a headcanon, but I think that growing up Izzy's family wasn't well-off, at least not most of the time. Perhaps he grew up in a modest upbringing where discipline and modesty were drilled into his head all the time. Perhaps he spent his childhood and adolescence longingly staring at beautiful things in displays of the shops in the town where he grew up, feeling pangs of guilt over wanting things his family would call "frivolous".

Perhaps his family stepped into wealth quite suddenly, and all but Izzy himself became drunk with money. Perhaps their nouveau riche way of being made Izzy despise people who overindulge in the goods around them. Perhaps that was all the more reason for him to become a pirate - he imagined living rough, wearing ragged clothes and eating any scraps he manages to catch.

But then, the most extraordinary thing happened. An Edward Teach appeared on his path, a man who came from a background even more modest than his own, but completely lacking Izzy's guilt over indulging in the finer things in life.

Ed insisted that Izzy wear nice clothes, and Izzy didn't protest when, after looting a ship of vacationing aristocrats, he was handed a mountain of clothes, and tasked with choosing something nice for himself.

The ring on his tie was a personal touch from Ed. Izzy didn't protest.

So that was fine. Edward liked fine things, and Izzy liked Edward, whether he realised it or not.

But then - Stede.

A man so deeply reminding him of his own family as if he did it just to anger Izzy specifically.

He surrounded himself with beauty simply because he could and did things on a whim, and Edward loved that.

And it was Izzy's personal hell.

[atryoshka]

Frenchie and Izzy getting together would be genius and tbh I can't unsee it now

Love that Izzy and Frenchie actually have a lot in common on a deeper level that wasn't really apparent to me until s2 when we see how they deal with trauma in equal but opposite ways. We have Frenchie with his little box that allows him to straight up ignore the dark shit he's been through like it doesn't exist, happily eat some blood cake, and thinking that his death being given a clear deadline is a comfort. Then we have Izzy trying to stone face his way through having his body parts severed, just business as usual bc that's the pirate life and it won't change even though he's visibly holding back tears, and then accusing the crew of being too cowardly to kill him, actively inviting death bc he doesn't get why any of it even matters so keeping him alive is pointless.

What's interesting is that given the right circumstances, they could easily trade places, with Izzy being more lighthearted and Frenchie falling apart at the seams.

We've already seen signs of this with Izzy being much more chilled out after the crew made him the new unicorn, finding something in this terrible life that make him see them, and himself, in a more positive light. Like yeah, life is still filled with unimaginable horror, but now has a custom gold painted unicorn leg to trudge through it with, which is absolutely absurd but now he can't help but smile. So he decided his life is so unserious right now and you know what? A shark took his leg, end of story, here's a little wooden shark I made today just for fun lol. Frenchie on the other hand is still pretty relaxed despite everything that's happened so far, but I have a feeling that he was probably very similar to izzy in the past before he joined the crew of The Revenge. His past is pretty mysterious even with the little tidbits we get like him being in the service for bit. It doesn't sound like he was doing it for too long so the other things in his life that he doesn't talk about remain unknown, probably even to himself. The box exists so he can pretend any trauma he experiences doesn't even exist, unlike a fiction which still somewhat acknowledges that there was something that happened to him in a way he could accept. The truth is, he actually never moved on bc all the parts of his life that he's ignoring are still lurking inside him waiting to break out at anytime. I think when something accidentally triggers a memory he suppressed, we'll see a different side to him. Less chill, more shrewd survivalist, like when he and the others reunited with the revenge crew after being stranded at sea. He bounced back pretty fast after they got past the pinnata and cake standoff but it was interesting to see how ready he was to be violent and how untrusting he was of everyone's intentions in that context. He'd usually be much more chill and willing to fast talk his way out of a situation, even when he knows someone has bad intentions. (There's also probably something with religious trauma he's hiding but that's a whole other can of worms I won't get into. All I'll say is that combined with his very strong beliefs of the supernatural and grudging flippant way he does the cross symbol on himself when others do it, when they boarded the cursed ship, he was that only one to not step in the satanic circle before anyone even questioned what the strange lines even were. Did he immediately recognize it and consciously avoid it or was it gut reaction? Idk, but he sure as hell didn't speak up about it and just wearily watched the other step into it and draw their own conclusions. ) But getting back on track Honestly, their dynamic would be really interesting to explore in the show bc they could understand and care about each other in ways that would probably surprise them if given the opportunity to spend more time together on screen. tl;dr: All this to say that I fell down the rabbit hole after realizing that they are basically this meme, which has a lot of potential for so many hilarious and accidentally heartbreaking moments

[allybeans]

I saw a fleeting glimpse of a post about fancasting the rat grinders but tumblr refreshed and the post disappeared but I made my fancast anyway

Kipperlily - Vic Michaelis. Would bring the same rancid vibes (complimentary) to the role as they have to the role of Vic Michaelis on VIP.

Ruben - Zach Reino. Does Zach even play D&D? Regardless, their ability to bring little bitch boy energy in PIBE make them perfect for this role. Plus imagine the terrible emo songs Zach would make up. (Alternatively: Brian David Gilbert, who would lean into the unhinged chasing after Wanda Childa energy more.)

Ivy - Izzy Roland. No one does socially intimidating better than Izzy.

Oisin - Jake Hurwitz. I may have a soft spot for Oisin. But I think Jake would bring a "just a good guy" energy that would add layers of complexity to the character. Bonus: it would be hilarious for Jake "how many times can I get away with playing a fighter" Hurwitz to play a wizard.

Mary Ann - Rekha Shankar. Socially intimidating but in a different way to Ivy/Izzy, Rekha's Mary Ann would be sooo frustrating and absolutely make Gorgug fly into a rage.

Buddy - Caldwell Tanner. In many ways Buddy is just Beverley Toegold V with more religious trauma and less touching of hands.

Lucy - Surena Marie. Sweet on the outside but with a solid, steely, unshakeable core, and impossible to dislike. Also I just want more Surena.

[khruschevshoe]

Lucius, Izzy, and Pete Spriggs

Cause I can still remember when you were afraid of the dark

And I told you to come and you followed where I asked you to go

Would you come here and spin with me?

I've been dying to get you dizzy

Find a way up into your head

So I can make you feel like new again

-Turnover, Dizzy on the Comedown

Lucius loves Pete, yes, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't hold affection for Izzy. That this kiss, sharp and awkward as it is, doesn't mean as much as kissing Pete does.

Izzy leans in, almost unconsciously, chasing Lucius' mouth, making this real. Making this more than just a devotion, a religious act- making it two men kissing in the middle of a brawl, two pirates making something more out of the sea.

"That was really hot," Pete says as they both lean back. "Mind if I-?"

"Not at all," Lucius says with a wink.

Izzy cannot find a way to voice the feelings strangling his chest, choking his breath in the most lovely way, so he just nods.

-aletterinthenameofsanity, all I can taste is the blood in my mouth (and the bitterness in goodbye)

These three have a chokehold on me. The arc of intimacy is so delicately and well-handled, the trust they grow in each other is so grounded, and the religious metaphors are *chef's kiss.* I was so glad to see a Lucius that got to sort through his trauma to willing ears, an Izzy who got a happy ending to accompany his growth/trust arc, and a Black Pete that was complex, affectionate, and not sidelined.

@polikate @bricksbloggyplace @angxlwiings @possumsmushroom

[our-flag-means-love]

earlier this year i made this playlist with the target audience of Specifically Myself, comprised of s1's story and some s2 predictions, but as you may have noticed, s2 has since come out. as such, i think it's time for:

Ed x Stede, as told by The Killers (SEASON 2 UPDATE)

19 songs, 76 minutes in total.

(also on youtube, if you don't use spotify or aren't able to listen in order, which is the recommended way of consuming it)

in addition to adding new songs, i'm also going to be revising my explanations throughout the whole playlist, so even if you read the s1 post, there will be some new stuff to enjoy too!

explanation and lyric highlights for each song can be found under the cut. last time i tried to keep things concise but this time all bets are off. a full paragraph per song.

also! i recognize that an hour and 16 minutes is quite the time investment to ask of anyone, so here is my recommendation for abridged listening, the songs for which i think listening to the whole thing really does enhance the experience: #5, #7, #10, #14, #18, #19, clocking in at 24 minutes. and if you're going to listen to ONE SONG, make it #14.

(lyrics are mostly taken from genius but a few parts are just what i know to be true in my heart if i think genius is wrong)

1. boy

this can be read as either an ed childhood song or a stede childhood song, or both. feeling awkward in your own skin, feeling confined to your hometown and unable to reach your full potential. things i definitely think both of them felt as they grew up.

these streets / weren't meant to house / jet-fueled engine dreams

2. When You Were Young

BANGER ALERT!!! this song is for sure about ed's childhood and religious trauma because i mean come ON.

you sit there in your heartache / waiting on some beautiful boy to / to save you from your old ways

he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentleman / like you imagined when you were young

3. I Can't Stay

my apologies for jumping straight from the arguably best song on this playlist to the definitely worst song on this playlist. but it had to be done, because this one's about stede leaving mary.

in the dark / for a while now /[...]/ i can't stay / much longer / riding my decision home

4. The Man

this one's about Blackbeard™. despite the title, this is the "myth" and "legend" part of the phrase "the man, the myth, the legend." tall, broad, head made of smoke, nine guns, etc. the terror of the seven seas.

don't try to teach me / i got nothing to learn / 'cause baby i'm gifted

i got skin in the game / i don't feel no pain / i got news for you baby, you're looking at the man

5. Flesh And Bone

another BANGER ALERT!!! and remember how i brought up "the man, the myth, the legend"? well, this is the "man" part, because as it turns out, ed is an actual person too. one who's aging and growing tired of piracy.

but i'm not sure how / this natural selection / picked me out to be / a dark horse running in a fantasy

what are you afraid of? / and what are you made of? / flesh and bone / and i'm running out of time

6. Tidal Wave

they! are! in! love! for the first verse the pronouns could be read either way, but then for the second verse "he" is stede and "she" is ed (you'll see why) bc damnit i'm taking this song from the hets, it's mine now.

you say this life has given you nothing / you got another thing coming

now the story of / forbidden love / has gotta make a stand

7. Andy, You're A Star

on a surface level reading, this song is about high school sports. but if you dig a bit deeper, the izzy can be found. in this song, the narrator greatly admires andy and his skills, but uh oh! andy is prioritizing love over fame and success! this simply will not do!

in a car with a girl / promise me she's not your world / 'cause andy, you're a star / in nobody's eyes but mine

8. Mr. Brightside

is this song overplayed? hell yes! is it also the best song to illustrate stede's feelings about ed and calico jack! you bet your ass it is!

jealousy / turning saints into the sea / swimming through sick lullabies / choking on your alibis

9. Neon Tiger

the law has finally caught up with stede, but ed is determined to protect him from chauncey's wrath at all costs. gonna be honest, this song might be the weakest fit on this whole list. so sue me, idk.

you're far too pure and bold / to suffer the strain of the hand and its hold

run neon tiger / there's a price on your head / they'll hunt you down and gut you / i'll never let 'em touch you

10. Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

once again, BANGER ALERT!!! who's jennifer? we only know stede bonnet. and ed misses him. he's drinking and depressed in his blanket fort and ready to snap with enough prodding (from izzy, obvs). for the last 10-ish seconds, i want you to picture ed's smile right before he pushes lucius overboard.

before you say goodbye / leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly / darling, don't you see? / i'm not satisfied / until i hold you tight

11. Everything Will Be Alright

stede is determined to find ed and do whatever it takes to get to him. he's not ready to believe that they're over. they're just on a break.

i'm coming to find you / if it takes me all night / wrong until / you make it right

you don't need to compromise / i'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes

12. The Rising Tide

in my s1 playlist i referred to this as an angry ed breakup song, but upon further examination, i really think ed is the person the song is about rather than the narrator (although tbh, imagining both the "i"s and the "you"s as ed works solidly well). this song represents his mental health spiral.

before life and the dream collide / 'cause the truth's gonna come and cut me open wide

and the company you keep / well they plan your crucifixion as we speak

13. Rut

now ed's in the gravy basket. part of him wants to give up, but the rest wants to keep fighting, he's just not sure how. this song—particularly the ending, the desperation in the repeated "don't you give up on me"s—is also ed's pov of the eventual reunion.

i've done my best defending / but the punches are starting to land / i'm sliding into something you won't understand

but don't give up on me / 'cause i'm just in a rut / i'm climbing but the walls keep stacking up

14. My List

this and #18 are the songs i couldn't make work on the s1 playlist that i'm so glad i got to include this time. god i love this one so much and it's so perfect for stede's pov of the reunion. the quiet lamentation in the first half. the desperation in the second half. top tier shit. it's so perfectly stede in that scene. move over, kate bush.

and when you come back in from nowhere / do you ever think of me?

when your heart / is not able / and your prayers / they're not fables /[...]/ let me show you how much i care

15. Have All The Songs Been Written?

now the boys need to talk, and maybe stede has some apologizing to do. he knows how much he hurt ed, and he wants to make amends. he wants to win him back over if at all possible.

have all the songs been written? / have all your needs been met? / have all these years been worth it / or am i the great regret?

i just need one more to get through to you / i can't take back what i've done wrong

16. For Reasons Unknown

this is around s2e5. they're on good terms but still insecure, still warming back up to each other, and still taking things slow. full disclosure: i let myself add this song because i was sad about having to cut "bones" and this one i could make fit better.

with one deep breath / and one big step / i move a little bit closer

and my lips / they don't kiss / they don't kiss the way they used to / and my eyes don't recognize you no more

17. Be Still

i wanted to use "bones" for when they fuck. i really really did. but it just didn't fit the tone. stede just killed someone intentionally for the first time, and he's still running on all those complicated emotions as he and ed have some of the sweetest and most awkward sex ever imagined by man.

don't break character / you've got a lot of heart / is this real or just a dream?

when you come back / tell me, what did you see? / was there something out there for me?

18. A Matter Of Time

UNDERRATED DEEP CUT ALERT!!! as mentioned in #14, i'm psyched to include this song. this is their s2e7 breakup. the drama, the conflict. stede laughing with his girlfriends, so to speak, as ed sits in his own emotions. two people trying and failing to make it work.

i see you / laughing with your girlfriends / not a care in the world / not a burden on your mind / it was a matter of time

can't you see that it's tearing me up inside? / look what's laying at our feet / that's the wreckage of broken dreams

19. All These Things That I've Done

one final time, with conviction: BANGER ALERT!!! ed has to come to terms with himself. he must accept the parts of him that can kill and the parts of him that can love in equal measure. it's the only way for him to find peace, and to hold on long enough to retire with stede.

these changes ain't changing me / the cold-hearted boy i used to be

while everyone's lost / the battle is won / with all these things that i've done

if you've stuck around with me for this long, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! hopefully either your brain was already as rotted by this band as mine is or i've indoctrinated you by now. i'm also in the (slow, very very slow) process of making a video edit set to "all these things that i've done" and i'll update this post with the link when (if) that's eventually done!

[warmhappycat]

I hope it’s ok that I took this idea and then wrote a bunch about it. Not fic exactly, just thoughts, some of which approach fic.

I both love and hate posts like this. I love them because OP is brilliant, and this idea is good, and it would have been such a small change but such a dramatic improvement. And I hate them because OP is just a random internet person who came up with a great idea that would have been so easy to implement and make the season so much better, and all the paid professionals did… what they did… instead.

There’s something about seeing how easy it would have been to make it great that makes it even more frustrating that it wasn’t.

It doesn’t make any fucking sense that Izzy “I should have let the English kill you, [you] namby-pamby in a silk gown pining for [your] boyfriend” Hands would do drag and sing so that the crew could slack off and Ed could have sex with someone else. I feel very confident that he would rather die than do any of those things, and his “development” in season 2 was too weird and rushed for me to believe that he had become that kind of person.

But,

I found it believable that he had softened his position on “namby-pamby-ness” (hard to put your foot down about it with all those missing toes, huh Izzy?). I found it believable that he wanted Lucius to get better (or at least stop complaining) about his trauma. So if we had a turn of events in which the crew found out that Izzy largely sparked Ed’s whole violent spiral, then we could have had an arc where Lucius is demanding recompense from Izzy the same way he did with Ed, and that could have ended in this.

Maybe Lucius heard Izzy humming or singing in the bath or something. I find it hard to believe that Izzy would initiate himself singing in public, but if Lucius discovers he has a nice voice, and he feels that Izzy owes him something, maybe he would ask. Maybe he would say, “I want you to sing at my wedding. You were horrible to me about being a ‘seductress,’ you treated my intimacy with Pete like it was dirty, you lit the fuse that sent me overboard, and you rowed Pete out to some island to starve to death and rot under the hot sun. Sing at our wedding, bitch.”

And now there’s an actual catalyst for gradual, believable change! Like, it’s not that I think living with and watching Ed during his kraken era wouldn’t also catalyze change, but I find it unlikely that someone who has been shown so far to be emotionally abusive, disdainful of feelings, and just generally to have the emotional depth of a teaspoon would able to intuit all of the correct lessons from that circumstance and very quickly execute them to near-perfection. That’s just a new guy! They just body-swapped Izzy Hands with a different guy!

But in this scenario, he doesn’t have to become enlightened. He just has to decide whether or not he’s going to sing a song - whether or not he’s going to do something nice for someone he’s hurt, because they asked him to. Maybe he’s not ready to make amends and take accountability and become emotionally vulnerable and be honest and totally turn his personality and relationships around, but Lucius is being really annoying about it and the whole crew is on his side and Stede keeps yapping about “poison into positivity” and even Ed says, “at least all he wants you to do is sing; I let him push me off the boat!”, and so he concedes to do it.

But maybe at first he won’t say what song he’s going to sing. Maybe he’s really grouchy about the whole thing, and openly debating whether he should sing some random sea shanty or dumb drinking song or maybe an old religious hymn, just to pour cold water on this gay event. We could have a cute scene of Lucius second guessing his decision to push for this, worried that Izzy will ruin the wedding, and then Pete saying that the wedding will be great no matter what Izzy does, he couldn’t possibly ruin it even if he tried, because they’re getting married(!!!!), and besides, he thinks it’s hot that Lucius bullied Izzy into this and won.

And then the wedding scene comes, and Izzy’s just kind of vocalizing while Pete and Lucius enter. It’s more like an instrumental piece than someone singing, but it’s nice. They have the ceremony, and the kiss, and just as they’re breaking apart and the cheering is starting to die down, we hear…

🎵 Hold me close and hold me fast, this magic spell you cast… 🎵

Because he chose nice. He had every opportunity to be that nasty little rat man from season 1, to rain piss and vinegar on this happy, gay, lovely moment, and he chose to be nice instead. Maybe when he gets to “and when we kiss…” he even gestures at them to kiss again, and visibly smiles when everyone starts dancing.

It wouldn’t be a sign that he’s a totally cool guy now, or that the ways he hurt people in the past don’t matter anymore, or even that he can be trusted to never do it again. But it would be real, tangible, believable proof that he is capable of being that, and that he’s trying to change. Con O’Neill once said in a panel that Izzy wants to be better, he just doesn’t know how. I love that thought, but I never saw anything in canon that supported it. I think this would though! Someone gave him a very clear request to do something pretty simple, just because it was the kind of nice thing that other people on the Revenge do for each other. He was given that opportunity, and took it, and exceeded all expectations. That would have made more sense to me, and therefore, would have been more impactful.

if calypso's birthday had been the lupete wedding btw. that means - ok, i talked about how the way izzy's redemption arc works in the second half of the season is by taking every shitty thing he did in s1 and kind of symbolically reversing it to atone for it, right? so he already got "being kind of nice to lucius" as one of the beats last episode but this means the singing would be specifically blessing lucius and pete's union. the first clearly & actively homophobic thing he did in s1 was harass lucius & pete for having sex, and then here he'd be working to make their wedding romantic. nice gesture and honestly helps explain what they were going for with the decision to have izzy sing: it's not just, or even primarily, about ed and stede.

[abyssalmarked]

Welcome to my blog containing an original OC tied into an original universe with bits of deadspace thrown in. Robert Carson is owned by me and is part of the current world I've been building around my character Izzy Nova. This blog will have many triggers and dark themes so please be aware before you interact. There will be a lot of nsfw that does not revolve around sexual themes. There will be very dark topics and if you cannot handle them then please don't follow. Rules will be under the cut.

I do not claim any ownership to any images or art on this blog unless otherwise stated.

FC: Neil Mcdonough

Aesthetics and art by Nightshade.

Follow back from @thedemonicpunks

Mun does not equal muse. Mun does not condone Carson's actions.

There is no redeeming Carson. He is set in his ways and will not change. He is a zelot and drunk on power. He is rotten to his very core.

He can die but has a countless amount of backup bodies to download his consciousness into. The bodies will vary in age.

There is a lot of dark topics including but not limited to: torture, abuse, genocide, murder, brain washing, kidnapping, torture of children, forced surgical procedures, cult like behavior, worship of non god entity, religious trauma, racism, classism, xenophobia, gore, non consensual sexual acts (will be described not role played and only as story elements will not be graphic and only if discussed beforehand), forced pregnancies using eldritch materials, genetic modifications. More will be added if they come up.

Regarding sex: it will not be written in rp format. If sex is involved it will be implied. If sexual torture is mentioned it will not be written in a sexual way. It will be written to explain what will be involved. It will not be written explicitly and will not happen unless given written consent by other party.

He is rich beyond compare and will pay to control local authorities and other groups to ensure that no crimes are brought to light. News is moderately controlled by the church. Muses from a reporter background will not be able to post groundbreaking stories about what he's done. The media will censor everything about him as he pads their wallets.

He enjoys tormenting children as they are weaker than him. If this bothers you do not bring up children around him.

Don't be an asshole.

I reserve the right to stop an rp at any time for any reason. I will not rp in dms. I will not rp Carson off tumblr outside of a few trusted discord servers.

He is tied to the world I've been building and most of it is headcanon based. I can put him in new worlds but he will be tied back to his original world.

Unless otherwise specified all interactions are their own separate worlds. No timelines intersect so no two characters will know what is going on between them.

No godmodding or trying to steal my character.

If you don't like him don't write with him.

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

Standing Watch

by JupiterMelichios

“Why the fuck does Bonnet think the crew wants to celebrate Easter, then?”

“He liked it when he was a kid. Says it was the only bit of church he ever looked forward to. He wants the crew to have that.”

“At your expense?” Much as Izzy hates to admit it, that doesn’t sound like Bonnet’s style. He dotes on Edward, in his own weird way. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt him on purpose. “You haven’t told him, have you?”

  Ed's dealing with some old ghosts. Izzy is surprisingly helpful.

Words: 2537, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of The Lucius Spriggs School of Healthy Non-Monogamy

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Israel Hands

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Israel Hands, background Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet - Relationship

Additional Tags: Religious Guilt, Edward Teach Has Religious Trauma, Polyamory, Childhood Trauma, Traumatized Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Israel Hands Loves Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Needs a Hug, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Gets a Hug, Married Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Israel Hands, Bipolar Blackbeard | Edward Teach, References to Depression, Izzy is doing his best to be a supportive husband, with his 1 coping skill, just traumatised people loving and supporting one another, Jewish Israel Hands

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47206540

[naazaif327]

I love how the PCs are far less willing to "consider both sides" and be merciful this campaign, like there's a brutality very similar to late-game ACoC where the characters, due to their traumas and their hard-won beliefs, will fight back against the religious oppression and evil that they've faced without trying to moralize and understand each villain who has individually enacted violence upon them and their loved ones, even though Murph does make sure to make all the factions and npcs complex and three-dimensional.

Like obviously empathy is incredibly important and everyone has their traumas and their reasonings behind the awful things they do, but at the same time you cannot blame every bad action on a tragic backstory, and having the protagonists forgive/redeem every person who has hurt them is imo a bit of a betrayal to those characters, so I'm happy they went the direction they did with this story. Its something they've talked about on the short rests a bunch, and I do think it ends up making for some very interesting storytelling.

Like, Stella is vaguely triggering for me to listen to as someone who grew up with an extremely manipulative parent (that whole line where she was like "its you and me against the world Zirky!" was... a lot) and the whole time I kept expecting them to just kind of brush it off and let Stella be semi-adopted into the group as like this "quirky zany character who's a little morally grey but her heart's in the right place!". And so it was so surprising and cathartic when Zirk just told her off and said he wanted nothing to do with her anymore, like I'm so not used to that kind of narrative.

Or with Izzie, Henry’s ex-wife, like they let her just be a person who is terrible in most ways but still loves her son without making it into like a fairytale thing where she's secretly good but forced into this by her circumstances. I don’t know, something about the way morality is approached in Eldermourne just really gets to me in a great way

[taketheringtolohac]

I have like. Barely thought about the Guerra sisters but someone said that they should be Filipino and now I’m VERY 👀👀👀 and I am having THOUGHTS about them and growing up like!!!

Ok I have a lot of thoughts and this got long so if you are interested read under the cut (cw for talks about Catholicism, mentions of weight, and not great family dynamics)

Izzie and Atlas cooking with their Lola who immigrated to the states and who just. Throws money at them when their parents aren’t looking but who cares about them deeply and wants them to have a strong sense of family tradition and thinks the best way of doing that is through cooking and baking for them.

Izzie who really loves their Lola and all the recipes that Lola gave her but hates how religious her family is and going to church and how uncomfortable it all is for her but who always gets a card saying Jesus Loves You for Christmas and hates how her Lola talks about Christianity and the Philippines because she can TELL how much of it is from growing up in colonial Philippines. She doesn’t really know how to feel about being her Lola’s perfect granddaughter who cooks and cleans and listens to her. Izzie doesn’t like being the “good” one and she doesn’t like leaving Atlas behind but she doesn’t want to be treated as badly as Atlas is by their family so she stays quiet because she likes doing all of the stuff her family wants her to be, and when she does the things they like it makes it easier for her to do what she wants to do in her spare time– learn to play blaseball.

Meanwhile Atlas is here and as they get older they just hate how restrictive her parents are and get so FRUSTRATED with all the RULES and like gets really embarrassed by her culture and her parents accent and the fact that she has to take leftovers for lunch every day to school and hates how her family treats her because she’s not as perfect as Izzie and she doesn’t love doing all the housewife training stuff that Lola and their mom taught them. She loves playing blaseball and sloftball and getting rough and singing karaoke too loudly at big family parties but her family doesn’t LIKE that because she’s not PERFECT like IZZIE is and it just makes her madder because why does IZZIE get to be interested in blaseball and get praised for it but when SHE does it they tell her to wear dresses and be more like Izzie.

(Izzie got into blaseball so she could feel closer to her sister, Atlas thinks she’s just trying to take something else from her.)

And then they sign onto different teams and just let their hatred and jealously feed into each other. Izzie signed in KC, near their hometown, and Atlas chose to join a team that was as far as her parents would let her. They never talk at Chicago/KC games. They go to family gatherings even after they’ve both signed and everyone talks to them and praises them and gives them money even though they don’t need it because they’re proud and they all bet on blaseball anyways, its easier and more lucrative than the casino now, and still they compliment Izzie on her playing more even though it was Atlas who was on the team in high school and she should be the one who they should be proud of instead of Izzie who only got into it as a HOBBY but now they’re complimenting her on using their Lola’s recipes in her bakery (that she OWNS and PURCHASED using her blaseball money, the family asks Atlas why she hasn’t done anything useful with her money yet and she just says she’s saving it. She doesn’t want to own a business) and she doesn’t have time to be mad at it just be Tired. They ask her why she hasn’t lost any weight yet even if she’s been playing blaseball all this time and she just shrugs it off because it’s nothing she hasn’t heard before

When Atlas gets transferred to KC in Season 3 she doesn’t know how to feel. She’s mostly angry. Izzie on the other hand is just so scared of doing something wrong because she doesn’t know how to make their relationship better and she KNOWS she’s the one who fucked it up and she wants to make it better but Atlas is so resentful and she knows she deserves this but she doesn’t know how to reach out. She tried to reach out to their parents and tell them to be nicer to her because she doesn’t think that they love her but they just insist that they’re only doing what’s best for her so that she could have everything that they didn’t and then they just start talking about Immigrating to the states and American dream stuff and how Atlas should be more like her and she has to take everything she has to not hang up the phone.

Izzie stops going to church after Atlas transfers to KC. It isn’t immediate but it does happen. Atlas had stopped going years ago when she came out to their parents and they didn’t react well (they didn’t react badly either, but the thought of going back to that church with all those people who she knew were judging her and praying for her family made her skin crawl) but they didn’t kick her out. Izzie saw that and kept her sexuality to herself for YEARS because she was so scared that her parents would hate her for not being the perfect child they thought she was 

When Izzie comes out their family reacts way worse, like she expected, and she’s hurt and sad and doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to talk to Atlas about it because she doesn’t want to burden her but she so desperately wants to TALK to her and it’s hard. They don’t really get the chance to until they’re shopping for the things they need to send back to the Philippines one year and it’s awkward but they get through it. They get into some petty argument in the car on the way to their parents house and suddenly they’re shouting and somehow Atlas says something about Izzie being their parents favorite and suddenly Izzie is crying and Atlas is SCARED bc Izzie NEVER cries and Izzie has to pull over to just cry and suddenly she’s telling Atlas everything and Atlas is MORTIFIED because she didn’t KNOW that Izzie was also queer and she felt so bad for treating her like the enemy when really they were on the same team here. And Izzie is apologizing for not standing up for her and for just letting their parents say all that stuff to her and it’s not instant forgiveness because you can’t just erase years of trauma and complicated relationships in a few seconds, but there is understanding.

They aren’t ok right away but they do start talking. About their parents, about their culture, about being ex catholic, about blaseball and just. Start healing. Izzie renames the bakery to what it is now, as a threat to any and all Gods because it’s what tore her family apart and made her and her sister hate each other for so long. Colonialism and religion is what ruined her life and she’s gonna take it all back. Atlas is trying to regain the time spent hating her sister and being mad at the world and trying to do some things to heal, like getting back in touch with her culture after she pushed it away for so long and trying to unpack her trauma in a more constructive way. They both try to start repairing their relationship with their parents. It’s not easy, but they’re all trying.

Eventually, Atlas decides to take up a position in Izzie’s bakery. It’s not perfect and they’ll never be fully ok, but they have each other’s backs and that’s enough for them.

[nullbutexe]

SHADOWHUNTERS - Created by Ed Decter - Based on The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Content Warning - Mentions of abuse, suicide, self harm, internalised homophobia and drugs.

The Netflix show Shadowhunters has a lot of important topics to talk about. These include sexuality, grief, addiction, religion and mental illness.

Firstly, the Warlock, Magnus. Magnus Bane is an openly bisexual male who doesn't conform to gender roles. He is not ashamed to talk about his past relationships with both men and women, which is something that is not really seen within the LGBT community. People often hide their sexuality or gender identity due to fear of being treated differently, but Magnus is so open about his sexuality. He is not ashamed of who he is and is proud of his identity, something everyone should aspire to be, regardless of their gender identity or sexuality.

Magnus embraces his femininity, unlike a lot of cisgender men. He wears makeup (specifically eyeliner, which he describes as his tiger stripes) and paints his nails, something which is a stereotypically feminine trait (although that is slowly changing). As well as this, a lot of his clothing could be described as 'feminine'. This shows other LGBTQ+ people that they are able to embrace their femininity regardless of their gender identity; Things should not be gendered. Experimenting with your gender expression should not be looked down on. Everyone should be able to be free to express themselves however they want without fear of judgement. Magnus’ character is the embodiment of this. He is never judged for how he expresses himself.

Magnus is also shown to struggle with the loss of magic and therefore turns to alcohol, which is a very negative coping mechanism. He ends up having a breakdown in front of his (at the time) boyfriend as a result of drinking too much and not being able to cope with his magic being taken away. Magnus has friends who help him through his loss, especially Alec, who reminds him he is no less of a person without his magic and that he still loves him regardless. People often turn to alcohol or drugs as they believe it will distract them from their issues, which is why this portrayal is very true to the real world. Magnus feels a loss of identity through losing his magic, which is to be expected since he has has magic for over four hundred years. He feels powerless and useless without this huge part of him, however he is lucky to have a huge support system to help him through his dark times.

As well as the trauma from losing his magic twice, Magnus also suffers from PTSD due to events of his past. When body swapped with Valentine, the Clave use the agony rune on Magnus as a form of torture to get him to tell them where the Mortal Cup is. The rune only ends up bringing up past trauma which he has spent centuries trying to bury. After returning to his body, Magnus talks to Alec about what he did and explains that he never wanted Alec to see this ugly side of him. Showing Magnus so vulnerable and talking about his trauma shows people that opening up can help them move on from events of the past. Alec is extremely comforting towards Magnus and expresses how he thinks there is nothing ugly about him. This seems to be a huge relief for Magnus.

Next, Shadowhunter Alec. Alec Lightwood is one of the few gay characters who hasn't been portrayed in a stereotypical way. He is the leader of the New York Institute and is incredibly masculine, which is very different to how gay men are usually portrayed in the media. Having a (now openly) gay man be someone that high up in status is important as it shows other gay or LGBTQ+ people that they can do everything that a non LGBTQ+ person can do and more. By being open about the fact he is gay to the rest of the Institute, it gives other LGBTQ+ Shadowhunters the confidence to be able to talk about their sexuality or gender, as shown by Underhill who tells Alec how inspirational he is. As well as other characters now being confident in opening up about their sexuality, a lot of fans would have also found inspiration in Alec's bravery to come out the way he did. Alec also dealt with a lot of internalised homophobia due to his status and his family, which is something a lot of people can relate to as people are often ashamed of their sexuality due to judgemental family or how society can portray the LGBTQ+ community. Alec managed to get rid of the internalised homophobia with the help of his family and friends, and his now husband. This shows to fans that there are people who support them greatly and will never judge them. Having supportive people around you can help immensely and can save someone's life.

In season 2 episode 4, Alec is possessed by a demon who uses his body to kill Jocelyn, Clary’s mother. He feels incredibly guilty about this and blames himself, despite the others telling him not to. We don’t see much more about Alec’s guilt until season 2 episode 8, in which Alec’s worst fears are brought out due to Iris’ attack on Magnus’ apartment. When talking to Clary on the balcony, he hears her blame him for her mother’s death, when in reality she is trying to talk him down from the balcony. He tries to jump, but luckily Magnus catches him before he manages to. After the attack has been resolved, Magnus talks about how magic cannot create fears, but bring them out, showing just how much Jocelyn’s death effected Alec. As well as Alec almost falling from the balcony, we see him repeatedly shoot arrows which results in his fingers bleeding. This seems like a type of self harm for him, as he doesn’t use the healing rune to fix up the wounds. Magnus points this out as well as the fact that Alec is clearly hurting due to what the demon did. He explains that Alec hopes the pain in his fingers will overpower the pain he is feeling from the guilt, but that it is not that easy. Magnus does all he can to try and comfort Alec.

In the finale of season 3B, we see Alec as Inquisitor and Magnus as High Warlock of Alicante. Previously, there would never have been a High Warlock for any of the Shadowhunter cities, as Downworlders and Shadowhunters were generally separated. By being open about their relationship and Alec being so high in power, they managed to change how the Shadowhunters treat other Downworlders. They ultimately end up working with each other instead of against. Magnus and Alec changed the world with their relationship. They ended the blatant racism between Downworlders and Shadowhunters and they are finally treated as equal.

When planning his and Magnus’ wedding, he states he would like to have it at the Institute. He explains that this is because the Clave would have to celebrate a relationship between a Shadowhunter and a Downworlder under their own roof. Having the wedding in the Institute shows how much Alec is willing to do to abolish the clear racism and hatred of Downworlders within the Clave. This, along with several other acts during the one year time skip (I imagine), had a huge effect on the perception on Downworlders and both Shadowhunters and Downworlders end up working together.

Raphael Santiago is (while nothing is explicitly said about his sexuality) an asexual vampire. He explains to Izzy that he's not interested in sex, implying he is asexual, which was then comfirmed by the book writer, Cassandra Clare. Vampires are often portrayed as sexual beings in the media, and the fact that Raphael is asexual is completely different from the norm. There isn't a lot of asexual representation in the media and is often completely forgotten about, so seeing a character be open about his asexuality to one of his friends gives representation to an often ignored sexuality. Having this kind of representation is important as it lets other asexual people know they aren't alone and also validates their feelings.

Raphael also manages to keep his faith throughout his life time despite everything he has been through. When he becomes mundane again, he talks about how he went to morning mass for the first time in 80 years. In the season finale of 3B, he states to Simon and Isabelle that he joined the seminary and is on his way to becoming a priest. Despite the hell he has been through, he still managed to keep his faith and intends to devote his life to it. To other religious people who might watch the show, it tells them that they should never give up on their faith, regardless of what they go through. Despite not being a religious person myself, I can fully understand how that may be comforting.

We see Raphael’s sister struggle with dementia as it ultimately worsens and she easily forgets who Raphael is. Despite her not knowing who he is, he visits her often and spends as much time as possible with her. In season 3 episode 3, Raphael gets a phone call from the nursing home explaining that she has passed away. This very clearly affects him a lot, and he immediately turns to Izzy for comfort. He is upset that he cannot attend her funeral due to it being during the day, so Izzy promises that she will go in his place. When he becomes mundane again, he goes to Rosa’s grave and plants flowers for her, something he hadn’t been able to do previously. I think this would have been a huge weight off of his chest.

In season 3 episode 5, the head of security, Underhill, talks to Alec about how he is an inspiration for being in a same sex relationship with a downworlder. He explains that if it wasn’t for Alec he would have never had the courage to come out to the Institute. He had to keep his private life separate from his job at the institute until Alec had the courage to show his true feelings for Magnus. This just proves how much of an inspiration Alec is to the rest of the Institute.

As well as Underhill, Shadowhunters Helen (who is half Seelie) and Aline also end up having the courage to be together. In the finale, we see them kiss at Alec and Magnus’ wedding after talking about what they could wear for their own wedding. Their relationship is a similar one to Alec and Magnus, as it is a same sex relationship and one of them is part Downworlder. If it wasn’t for Magnus and Alec being open about their relationship, I doubt they would have been able to be public with their own.

Luke Garroway’s partner, Ollie Wilson, is also in a same sex relationship. While she and her girlfriend, Sam, are a minor part of the show, it gives us another same sex relationship but with mundanes instead of the Shadow World. The two share everything with each other and seem to be in a very committed and loving relationship.

The show also deals with drug addiction, as seen in Isabelle Lightwood. Victor Aldertree gives Izzy Yin Fen, a drug made from vampire venom, as a pain relief for her demon wound. Yin Fen is immediately addicting and Aldertree gives her a jar of it to use when she needs it. Once she finds out what it is from the Iron Sisters, she tried to stay clean, but ends up suffering from really bad withdrawals. In response to this, she tries to find some vampires who are willing to feed from her to get her fix of venom. Raphael agrees to do this, which only gets him addicted to her blood. They both agree that it would be best for them both to stop. Izzy then uses candy as a way to control her withdrawals. Through this and the support of her brother, she manages to stay clean.

Abuse is also heavily dealt with. Johnathan, Clary’s brother, was sent to Edom at a young age and suffered torture from Lilith. She burned him constantly, and when he returned to Earth, he continued to burn himself as a sort of reminder. As well as physically abusing Johnathan, Lilith also mentally abused him, telling him that no one would come for him. This clearly affected him for the rest of his life and he continues to struggle with the trauma of the abuse. When connected by the twinning rune, the behaviour of burning himself was also transferred to Clary. They slowly become more connected and behaviours are shared.

Every topic discussed within the show was dealt with in a very mature and understanding way. With such heavy topics being included, there is always the potential for there to be bad writing as people often struggle to understand certain concepts, but they were all very well written and dealt with maturely. All of these things combined have made Shadowhunters one of the most representative shows to ever exist. These are the reasons why it has become one of my favourite shows and why I will never let it go, even though it’s officially over. It didn’t deserve to end at all, but I’m just glad we got to have this amazing show exist in the first place.

Thank you to the cast and crew, who have done an amazing job portraying some of the best characters and storylines. Thank you for making me and a lot of others feel like they aren’t alone in the world.

[ssa-lesbian]

criminal minds rewrite, with jemily endgame

rewrite 1: jemily was always gonna happen

s2e18, jones: jj wakes up with emily in her bed. it is implied that this isn’t the first time this has happened, and when jj suggests they stop, emily gets upset. they begin avoiding each other. the team notices but they don’t comment on it until they’re alone. jj is hit on by will but she struggles with her own feelings about emily and eventually brushes off will by explaining she’s in love with someone else. episode concludes with her approaching emily about their relationship, and it is implied they make up.

s3e17, in heat: it is revealed emily and jj are still sleeping together and “kinda maybe” dating but are super quiet about it. they meet will in florida and he accidentally outs them to the team, as he figured it out when they were in new orleans and thought the rest of the team knew. emily was already out, but jj is worried about the implications of being in an out relationship despite her team’s reassurances. episode concludes with emily telling jj she understands if she still wants to be secret, but jj takes a deep breath, locks eyes with her, and tells her “no. i need to be me. and that means loving you, no matter what.” and then they passionately make out.

s3e18, the crossing: end of the episode, jj tells emily she’s expecting their first kid. emily just loses it and bawls her eyes out. (she’s trans and sired the baby)

s3e20, lo-fi: the rest of the team finds out about the pregnancy when jj is hit with morning sickness and everyone’s like “lol are you pregnant or something” and she’s quiet for a moment too long and they’re like “oh my god you’re pregnant”

s4e7, memorium: agent todd flirts a little with emily, but emily kindly explains she’s dating jj and jj is carrying their child. todd is mortified but emily and jj think it’s cute. when jj goes into labor, emily cannot stop crying. she’s afraid to hold henry at first, but when she does, she cries even harder. she’s a fucking baby. also garcia and reid are still named their godparents, or honorary uncles and aunties since neither are particularly religious.

emily keeps showing the team pictures of henry when jj’s gone. all she does is talk about henry. everyone makes fun of her for it but secretly they’re glad she’s so happy.

s6e2, jj: jj still leaves for the pentagon. she and emily still live together, just different jobs.

s6e2-e18: jj doesn’t know about emily’s past, and emily doesn’t know about her afghanistan mission. emily never wanted to think about her old life, and jj didn’t want to burden emily.

s6e18, lauren: when emily disappears, jj isn’t targeted by doyle because she was in afghanistan and henry was with her mom, who took him to disneyland that week (whatever, rough timelines). she’s notified and her son and mom put into protective custody and immediately joins the bau to track down emily and doyle. jj is the one to ride in the ambulance with emily to the hospital and is also holding her hand when she codes. she nearly loses it when emily comes back. jj then makes the call, transferring her to a different hospital and calling only hotch. when emily wakes up from her operation, jj explains everything before going back to the original hospital and telling the team. “blackbird” is still a thing, just more kissing on the jet. her two weeks in paris with her are her last for a very long time. scrabble is still their only communication. jj tells henry that emily will be with them soon and he just has to wait. no one has the heart to tell him otherwise. little did they know—

s6e18–s6e24: her daughter was conceived in paris, and this is when the horrible afghanistan mission went down. jj doesn’t think about it much. she doesn’t tell emily until much, much later.

s7e1, it takes a village: jj rejoins the bau and brings back emily. they kiss a lot.

s7e6, epilogue: when emily brings up her death, jj is startled, as that was a memory she specifically pushed away because of how painful it was.

s7e23, hit: fluffy domestic jemily in the beginning. emily is a bit off and jj asks why. emily tells her not to worry about it. the whole interpol situation is brought up, and emily brushes off jj’s insistance. emily is sent in undercover with another cop to try and sneak in, but their lines are cut short after two gunshots. jj loses it. just as the ranks move in, the bombs go off.

s7e24, run: emily is taken as the hostage this time. izzy still fucks with jj and henry and jj beats her up. morgan finds emily with the bomb strapped to her, and emily tells morgan to go. he snaps at her— “i’m not leaving you. not ever.” it’s a callback to when morgan found her impaled by doyle and blamed himself for her “death”. i love parallels. the bomb is dismantled. in the hospital, emily talks with jj about interpol. jj encourages her to take the job since it’s a huge promotion. they’ll still see each other, just not always. jj doesn’t take it well but she tries. it’s not a wedding but a going-away party. jj and emily kiss tenderly before emily turns and walks away.

s8-s9: jj is on her phone a lot and smiling; it is implied she’s looking at emily’s texts.

s9e14, 200: when jj is kidnapped, her disappearance is noted by sandy, who was watching henry and was supposed to pick him up that morning. first thing hotch does is call emily, but she’s on an assignment without service. a few hours later, he calls her again, and that’s when she flies over. same thing, yada yada. blackbird. she finds and saves her. they kiss so much. emily stays with her for the next few weeks making sure jj recovers before moving back to interpol.

s10e11, the forever people: when jj’s trauma is called out by reid, he calls emily, who flies over. she stays with her as she breaks down. michael is conceived during this time period.

s11e1, the job: when jj calls hotch, emily is home with her, having taken a few months off for maternity leave

s11e7, target rich: one of the new framed photos on jj’s desk is of emily holding michael.

s11e19, tribute: basically the entire episode, except in the beginning emily wakes up by herself. the episode continues as usual, they just hold hands and touch each other and kiss each other more. when tara first meets her, she says “oh, jj’s girlfriend” and emily’s smile is so big.

s12e3, taboo: emily greets the team joyfully. luke doesn’t realize she and jj are together until the end of the episode when he realizes she’s the woman holding michael in one of jj’s photos.

s12e6, elliot’s pond: emily moves back to the states. jj is overjoyed.

during cases they’re professional but occasionally brush hands and touch shoulders.

s14e5, the tall man: domestic jemily fluff in the beginning. emily gives jj the opportunity to opt out of this case since it’s in e. alleghany, but jj still goes. emily already knows the details about rosaline’s suicide and helps ground jj. at the end she gives jj her new necklace. they cuddle. they are in Love.

s14e15, truth or dare: it’s emily and jj who are kidnapped. emily has the gun, but while emily is telling jj about her truth (it’s a lie btw, she says smth like i never loved you or whatever), jj is the one who sees the unsub raise the gun to shoot emily, yells out emily’s name and launches herself to take the shot meant for emily. emily shoots the unsub, but not before jj is sprawled over her, bleeding out. emily begs for jj to stay awake and that she never meant it, that jj was and is and will always be her one true love and that she had bought a ring and was gonna propose to her after this case and— jj’s eyes close.

s15e1, (different name cause no chameleon): okay the canon s15 opening two-parter doesn’t happen cause i think it’s stupid. s15e1 picks up directly off of where s14e15 leaves off as a cliffhanger. jj recovers. shyly mentions that she wouldn’t mind being married to emily. they kiss. emily officially proposes. everyone claps.

s15e4, saturday: emily takes off and gets super drunk at matt’s. jj works the case.

s15e8, rusty: mendoza doesn’t exist. at the end of the episode, they’re lying in bed, and emily, thinking about how lonely the unsub was, asks, “jj?” jj murmurs. emily says, “i love you.” they snuggle even closer. the light catches on their engagement rings, hands locked together.

s15e9, face off: i don’t care about the chameleon. the beginning shows emily and jj planning their wedding and getting a little overwhelmed. the unsub is garcia’s stalker. at the end, the unsub captures garcia, but emily and jj rescue her. tara and luke follow the unsub after he’s escaped. tara tricks him, and luke shoots him.

s15e10, and in the end: aftermath is resolved. garcia opts to step down from the bau and go work at the nonprofit. she struggles with telling the team. jj and emily have their wedding at rossi’s house. rossi announces his retirement. garcia announces her departure. luke asks her out. jj and emily kiss. the kids are cute. all is good.

[castielcampbell]

I don't think people appreciate the fact that Michael Guerin isn't a fooking psychopath.

Cos let's be real, this dude has the backstory of a villian.

Wasn't adopted with his siblings

Placed with meth heads

Placed with angry drunk

Placed with religious sect

Was abused

Bounced from house to house

Ended up in a group home.

Ended up living out of his truck in high school

Took the blame for a murder he didn't commit

Canceled plans to go college on a full ride to protect his sister.

Can blow things up with his mind

Can unlock shit with his mind

Can move things with his mind

Got to watch his siblings have the dream life; 2 parents, well off, nice house prolly, while he languished in poverty.

Literally, Michael could pick up a tanker truck, move it over someone and let it loose and you wouldn't be able to. Charge him with anything.

He could pick locks and steal shit. (Okay, he practically admitted to stealing stuff from the UFO emporium) and literally there would be nothing to point to him. (He can also cause cameras to go on the fritz, so literally, there wouldn't be any evidence of it.)

When Jesse Manes broke his had he could have literally shoved him out the window, but he didn't, because that would be dangerous.

Instead of being spiteful and angry and bitter taking all his emotions out on the world... he works in a junk yard, lives in an airstream, and plays the part of the town drunk so that people don't realize just how friggen smart he is.

He's not perfect.

Let's not go there

He's very flawed and makes not the greatest judgement calls. (Threatening Liz, telepathically flinging the knife across the counter into the chocolate cake and then joking about it.) But he does what he can for the people that he cares about. Izzy needs a heart to heart: bring it. Max needs talk to: bring beer. Liz needs a science head to help her: BYOBB (bring your own busin burner.) Maria needs a sign fixed: free.99 as long as you forgive my tab. Alex needs to commiserate over shared childhood trauma: bring beer, we'll do this thing.

But I just feel like people need to appreciate the fact that Michael could have very easily been the villain of this story and not the reluctant hero he's become.

[the-prophet-lemonade]

I was tagged by @lionheartedghost!

List 5 TV shows and answer the following questions, then tag 10 people to do the same.

i. Shadowhunters ii. Game of Thrones iii. Fullmetal Alchemist iv. The 100 v. Law and Order SVU

Who is your favourite character in 2? 

Jamie Lannister, colossal dumbass. I’m obsessed with his redemption arc (or the arc as it should’ve been, and yes, I still have faith in GRRM to correct the wrongs of 8x04 and 8x05). For me, he is the embodiment of a classic Greek tragedy and there’s something incredibly compelling about that - the tragedy, the familial trauma, the knightly values, the battle between right and wrong, between love and duty ... all the good stuff. 

My other favourite character is Sansa Stark because she is beautiful and intelligent and powerful and kind and a Survivor. 

Who is your favourite character in 1? 

Alec Lightwood. I love characters whose personal journeys involve chasing their own happiness and coming into their own as a leader, especially when they show their detractors wrong. Seeing Alec grow in confidence is special to me. And I love a powerful coming-out story. 

What is your favourite episode of 4? 

This implies that I can differentiate between any episodes of this God forsaken show. I did enjoy the season finale of season 2, with Bellamy and Clarke forced to make the impossible choice to save their people, together, but at the expense of so many others. I also really liked the episode in season 5 where they reunited after the 6 years apart ... my heart is weak.  

What is your favourite season of 5? 

Season 17. The eye contact. The shrewd and crooked smiles. The holy grail of Barisi episodes. The overflowing potential for more that was then cruelly dashed upon the rocks in seasons 18 and 19.

Who is your favourite couple in 3?  

Royai is the og pairing for me. Doesn’t get better than “I will follow you, even into Hell”. Doesn’t get better than “Can I trust my back to that?”. Doesn’t get better than “Don’t go where I can’t follow”. The trust they share is Profound.™

Who is your favourite couple in 2? 

Romantically, I’m a sucker for Braime, but we all know this. I love two people who bring out the best in each other, especially when that best is seen and understood by so few others. Jamie’s redemption arc is superb, and it’s because of Brienne that he is able to see his own self-worth and finally reacquaint himself with that vision of knighthood he sacrificed at age 17 in order to save King’s Landing. The respect they have for each other is paramount to why I enjoy them together. 

Theonsa is my other favourite ship because I love a pairing built on shared tragedy, and who manage to overcome trauma together - that’s very beautiful and powerful to me, and Sophie and Alfie have brilliant yet subtle chemistry, all spoken in the eyes. I also enjoy the Jon/Sansa dynamic a lot, but then Jon’s characterisation was shot in the head in season 8.

What is your favourite episode of 1? 

2x06 - Malec’s first date. The tentative flirting and the nervous energy and the Superior Kiss. 2x18 - the breakup episode because the flashbacks are gorgeous and the angst is THE GOOD STUFF. 2x10 is also a favourite because it’s very well acted and has more gravitas and consequence than a lot of episodes on this show. Honorary mentions to the end of 3x20 (spectacular), the Edom sequence in 3x21 (the hug! the surprise Jace/Meliorn! Izzy saving the day!), and the wedding scene in 1x12 (iconic).

What is your favourite episode of 5? 

Heartfelt Passages (17x23) is probably my fave because (a) I love some pain and Dodds’ death on his very last day on the job hurts like a mf and (b) it has that 2 second scene of Barba and Carisi at the bar after the funeral, toasting their drinks, and the look in Barba’s eyes is ... something else, okay? It’s so soft and curious and you can feel how safe he feels with Carisi and ... it should’ve been a stepping stone for something more in season 18. 

Some other episodes I like are Manhattan Transfer/Unholiest Alliance (good Carisi character development), 911 (first time I watched it, I was on the edge of my seat), and literally any episode that is Benson-focused, like the William Lewis arc (Liv seems to get kidnapped or caught in hostage situations so often but they’re always SO GOOD).

What is your favourite season of 2? 

Season 6 was some good stuff (especially coming out of the shithole of season 5). It had a lot of fan service (the R+L=J reveal, Bran’s time travelling, Hodor, Jamie and Brienne reuniting, Sansa finally escaping and finding Jon, Cersei pulling out all the stops to get rid of the Tyrells at fucking last, Yara flirting with Dany, and the entire BOTB sequence), but the writing still made sense and I still had hope for some clever twists hahahahaha

How long have you watched 1? 

I binge watched season 1 in May 2016 when I was living abroad and feeling a little lonely. The show really came into my life at the perfect time.

How did you become interested in 3? 

I watched the ‘03 series way back when (around 2007, I think?) and then got heavily invested in the manga, followed by Brotherhood. Honestly, it is without a doubt the best and most pitch-perfect story that has ever been told. I was immediately absorbed in Team Mustang and their dynamic, and who doesn’t love some political subterfuge with a large splash of religious symbolism that ends with a fist fight against God?

Who is your favourite actor in 4? 

Bob Morley. He’s so endearing in real life and he is such a good role model in terms of mental health activism and surviving depression/anxiety.

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? 

Ask me three years ago, and it would’ve been GOT. Sadly, season 8 happened.

Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? 

Purely because there are more FMA episodes in existence ... 

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? 

I feel like I connect most with Clarke, but if I could be anyone, I’d be Raven because she’s hot and smart and is played by Lindsey Morgan and what more is there tbh

But also, all the characters have fucking terrible lives, so I don’t really want to be any of them.

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? 

I can’t really imagine it, but that’s because I always find it hard to make AUs and crossovers with FMA because the story is absolutely perfect the way it is and any way you change it detracts from its perfection. If you put other characters into the FMA universe, it loses some of its meaning, yknow? Same with taking the FMA characters out of their universe, because who they are is so inherently tied to their in-universe experiences and their development with the story.

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? 

Unlikely but strangely okay ... I mean, I’m a sucker for Jimon, but that’s not all that unusual. I like Izzy with literally any of the girls (Clary and Aline, especially). But I feel like Magnus and Izzy would fit “unlikely but strangely okay” - I can imagine them flirting if Malec was never a thing, and they would look hot together, let’s be honest. A power dressing couple. Very intimidating. I’m into it.

Overall, which show has the better story line, 3 or 5?#

Clearly FMA because (a) it’s FMA and its narrative themes and characterisation are Absolute Perfection, and (b) FMA actually *has* a story line. SVU does not have a story line. SVU barely has coherent writing. 

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4? 

The GOT soundtrack is iconic, so there’s no question here. The use of leitmotifs for individual characters, and hearing how those are combined and overlapped and developed with the story? Spectacular. 

Tags: if you see this and want to do it, please go ahead (and you can tag me too, if you like)! 

[alongwalktoforever]

I just want to talk about my long long relationship with Grey’s Anatomy. 

I remember watching the pilot with my family on March 27, 2005. I was 12 and scandalized by the first scene with naked Derek, but we all loved it anyway. 

The second season was THE SHIT! I think it was the one of the first shows that I HAD to watch week to week. The bomb episode! Denny! Meredith and Derek! I remember feeling full on conflicted because I really really liked Finn and Addison. 

Then the third season happened, I waited and waited for it to come back on the air and feel like it did before, but it was just baaaad. I remember watching the ferry episode being like what the fuckkkk are they doing. 

Then George and Izzie happened. And I straight up wrote a LETTER to Shonda Rhimes. There was no social media or anything to get out your grievances. I said something like, ‘they are best friends, they aren’t supposed to have feelings with each other. it just isn’t how they are with each other. also do more patient stories not just drama’ 

The fourth season also sucked. Every character was just super unlikeable, so I didn’t watch live religiously like I had before. (I downloaded episodes on iTunes onto my iPod and watched it through that little screen! what a time). But they pulled it together in the finale and Meredith made a candle house and Lexie and George were cute and I had hope again. 

But then 5th season happened and Denny!Ghost came back and I quit. I mean i looooved Denny when he was first on, but come on.I left that shit and did not turn back. I remember someone at school telling me Izzie and Karev got married and I didn’t care at all. 

But then I randomly caught a rerun with the “teach me” Sloan and Lexie scene and I was like ‘oh shit.’ So that summer, I bought all five seasons on DVD (which I still have) and rewatched all five seasons. Sloan x Lexie were my new obsession. Everyone else was ‘mehhh’

So I watched season 6 every Thursday and enjoyed it. I remember watching 6x14 Invest in Love and that made me love Calzona as a couple. Izzie left and I was sad and Invasion happened and Mercy West peeps came and I was like who are these mo’fos. I kinda hated how were were supposed to hate them right off the bat. I thought it was lazy writing. Charles was charming until he fucked over Izzie. The rest were whatever, except Reed she fucking suckedddd. 

Then Sloan and Lexie broke up in a stupid way and they both acted stupid the rest of the season. And I was upset and disappointed with all the episodes. Then the shooter. People love this episode but I hated it. 

I just thought like “this ONE OLD GUY is taking down an entire hospital. And like shooting randomly but not consistently. Like he didn’t shoot Bailey but he shot that nurse?” Also those SWAT guys were like the worst ever. They took soooooo long. But it was intense and it made for a great next season. 

The beginning of season 7 is one of my favorite few episodes. It was about rebirth and starting over and it was interesting and heartwarming. Cristina’s PTSD was really powerful. Lexie and Mark got back together just to break up like two episodes later. Lame. But everyone was really on there game. 

But I fell in love with April Kepner during her “we all have things we don’t talk about” speak. Yasss she slayed. Then her during the trauma simulation was hilarious. I even started liking the idea of her and Alex.

But then 7x08 happened and Alex was a dick and Jackson punched him. And THAT was when I fell in love with Jackson and the beginning seeds of Japril began to grow. 

The rest of the season wasn’t that memorable. Teddy and Henry were adorable. Jackson and Lexie got together but there were some good Slexie scenes to keep me interested. 

Season 8, I remember getting kinda uninterested half way through after Henry died. I did love Jackson choosing Sloan over Lexie, I thought that was hilarious twist to the love triangle. Then San Francisco happened and boy was I hooked. I had been subconsciously waiting for this for two seasons. Jackson and April were hilarious and hot during that bathroom scene. 

And the plane crash happened. And I was soooooooooo upset they killed Lexie. Like, she was my all-time favorite character at the time. I had invested four seasons of her and Sloan. I was pissed. So I said that I wasn’t going to watch anymore. (Sidenote: rewatched the episode, holy shit it is amazing. such a great episode) 

But then a lot of the stuff online was talking about April and Jackson and I was like shit... I like them. Maybe, I’ll just watch a few episodes and see if I still like the show. 

Season 9 is where i became OBSESSED. April and Jackson were amazing, I liked Jo and Alex, and Cristina and Meredith’s friendship was full-on cray cray in a good way. I thought it was insane to have Jackson propose in one scene and then break up with her in the next. Rewatching that scene and it still doesn’t make sense how he acted. Or how they were idiots in love for next full season. 

I loved the perfect storm episode, except the Arizona cheating which I thought again was lazy writing. 

The beginning of season 10 was rough for Japril shippers, like there wasn’t much to go on. I thought Jackson was such an idiot for so long. Like he denies denies denies until her fucking wedding day. I kinda wanted April to punch him and them have it out not just have her run away. Even though 10x13 was some of the purest most beautiful japril scenes ever. 

Season 11 was heartbreaking for literally everybody. Calzona got divorced. Japril baby died. Derek dies. I did like Amelia and Owen, but they were a mess like five minutes into it and never got it together. 

But those Jackson and april scenes are some of the best acted and written episodes that Grey’s has ever produced. That scene where April says, “its a boy” or when Jackson prays. Insane. So good. 

But then they did the time jump, again lazy writing. And April definitely seemed out of character to not even ask how her husband is for A YEAR. None of the story lines made sense for a year to go by. It was stupid. 

But April was super badass in the finale if it wasn’t heartbreaking for Japril fans. 

Season 12. Lowkey, I think that this is one of the best seasons of Greys. It was dramatic and funny and interesting. Japril was devastating but there was also so much hope left over. And they were both so scared about their kid. I mean 12x15 is Amazing for both jesse and sarah. I loved Arizona and April friendship, I even liked Nathan and Meredith and that finale was so good. April was a badass, Jackson was still obviously in love with her. Amelia and Owen were actually tolerable. 

Then season 13. This shit was terrible. LIke the writing was god awful. The maggie x nathan x meredith was so dumb. Minnick was the worst. The civil war thing was just dumb. Alex and Jo being miserable was terrible. Anything with Deluca (god he is just a useless useless character). 

But there was a beam of light of Japril, where they spent most of the season trying to coparent and coexist as not together while still obviously being in love with each other. Ugh where she sings “Faith” and then he asks her to move in. when he knows that she is “bored as hell” or when he says he doesn’t want them to move out or when he tries to be supportive as she dates. 

Then they fought for no reason and then Japril the sequel happened and we died and went to heaven. Just to be pulled right back down with eight terrible episodes and not just because japril doesn’t interact. but just because they are terrible. 

Then maggie and jackson in the finale and now season 14, which has already had its ups and downs. I loved the first two episodes and the 300th. 

BUT ANYWAY/ 

What i mean to say about this rambling rambling rambling text is that Greys goes in waves of being excellent and not so excellent. It does stupid storylines like George and Izzie and ghost denny and minnick, but it also does amazing storylines like japril and the plane crash and everything in between. So i am not giving up yet even as the shove jaggie down our throats. Because greys always has the ability to surprise me.